Friday, April 10, 2015

Assistance Package 87 & 88

The eighty-seventh entry continued the lies and errors;

# Most people who live in Southern California have gone surfing at least once in their life, but not me cause I have autism.
That is not a valid reason, and besides that first assumption is wrong. It applies to Hawaii, not Southern California.

# Because my autism precludes me from being around normal people, I cannot go surfing as a result.
This is not true.

# This is tragic, because every human being should have the right ot go surfing. Therefore, I am asking for a cure.
You can try surfing, Oliver. Nothing is stopping you.

# If I didn't have autism anymore, I would be allowed to go surfing without being scrutinized and stared at.
Allowed? Everyone who surfs is scrutinized and stared at. That is normal.

# For now, I must stick to concerts and baseball games, because going surfing is off limits, just like going to college or working.
It is not off limits.

# While Autism Speaks has gotten a little too neurodiverse, I still wouldn't boycott Surfer's Healing
There is no proof that Autism Speaks has done this (by Oliver's definition of neurodiversity)

# I wish I'd been normalized soon enough.
This is a hopeless wish.

# I still should check them out, but I believe it is my autism more than anything else that prevents me from surfing.
It's not.

The eighty-eighth entry continued the lies and errors;

# I am a blood relative of the Barbarian Brothers, whose real names are David and Peter Paul.
There is no proof of this.

# They were very famous people, having been twin bodybuilders and actors in the 1980s.
They are not famous at all.

# Most people, especially autistic people, cannot rightfully claim that they are related to an A-list Hollywood celebrity, but I can.
You can't, Oliver.

# For those who say that autism runs in families (and you know who you are), that is pure bullshit, plain and simple.
There are valid arguments to the contrary.

# Nobody in my family is autistic but me.
This means nothing.

# The reason that the Barbarian Brothers aren't autistic is because thimerosal didn't exist back in 1958 (or around then).
Even though it has nothing to do with autism, thimerosal was invented in 1929.

# I have pretty much resigned to the fact that I will never be cured of my autism, which is really sad because autistic people live shitty lives.
No they don't, unless they seek to lead "shitty" lives.

# If you are able to go surfing, that is essentially a one-way ticket to getting laid.
No it is not.

# I had never heard of this Clay Marzo guy before today, but the fact that he eats breakfast with strippers daily seems pretty intriguing. I wonder if he also sponsors wet t-shirt contests. If he does, maybe he could help get me into the business. Wet t-shirt contests are also a one-way ticket to getting laid, especially if you are the sponsor.
This comment is a demonstration of Oliver's disconnect with the real world and his desperation to get laid.

# I will never shut down this blog, because I feel it is my duty to accurately portray the pain and suffering that all autistic people face without sugarcoating at all.
Your duty, Oliver, is to shut the blog down and seek proper help.

# I hope autistic people will see through the shallowness of neurodiversity and listen to wise autistic people like me.
Oliver's blog is proof that he is not wise in any way.

# Demanding for a cure is the only way to seek happiness. All other ways are futile.
This is demonstrably false.

This assistance shall continue.

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